Don’t Worry; Keep a Journal

February 27, 2010

I am a serious worrier. If I’m not worrying, my brain becomes alarmed. “Something is wrong!” it cries. It rummages around and finds some problem in the world, some person in my life, or some event looming in my future for me to consider. Then it sits back and lets the worrying begin anew. Thanks, brain.

Sometimes when I am caught up in fears about the future, I sit down with my journal, and record as much as I can about the present. I did it today. I wrote about the soy latte I was drinking; about the Vancouver Winter Olympics; about how the trees are all blossoming early this year; about the short stories and poetry I am writing; about my church.

My current journal will soon be full, and I will put it on a shelf with the other notebooks I’ve filled over the years. When I open it again five years from now, my ramblings of the past few months will have transformed into a story. The theme of this story will be God’s faithfulness. I know this, because this is the theme of every journal I have filled over the years, even if I didn’t know it at the time.

It is good for me to look at my old journals, because I not only worry about the future; I also idealize the past. I tend to recall the past as a simpler time, when happiness came more easily. But when I read my old journals, I see that I was as full of questions, worries and doubts as I am now. The real difference is my perspective.

As I write in my journal, I know that today’s entry is just another chapter in a long story. I don’t know whether the next chapter will be primarily comic or tragic. But this is the story of God’s Spirit working in me to make me more like Christ. He will finish the work he has started. So I don’t need to worry; this is a good story.

Even if you don’t journal regularly, try taking time every now and then to write about what is happening in your life. Try this: Start a page with the phrase, “Now is the time …” and complete the sentence in as many ways as possible. You’ll discover all kinds of things that make this time in your life a unique part of your story.


Lent and God’s Love

February 17, 2010

Today is Ash Wednesday, the first day of Lent. Lent is relatively new to me. Growing up in a charismatic Protestant church, I knew of Lent only through novels and movies with Catholic characters. It was part of a religion I didn’t quite belong to.

When I learned about the traditional church calendar, I came to see Lent as a time for reflecting upon Jesus’ suffering and death, for recalling Jesus as a man of sorrows, familiar with grief. Lent was a time to abstain from worldly things.

I started observing Lent during college. I never gave up dessert or caffeine, but one year I tried to meditate on the “Suffering Servant” passage in Isaiah. Another year I gave up listening to the radio while in the car, because I thought the silence would be good for me. Mostly it just frustrated me.

Last year, Lent snuck up on me. I turned on my car radio one Monday after work and heard the deejay talking about the next day’s Mardi Gras festivities.

Crap, I thought, It’s almost Ash Wednesday, and I still don’t know what I’m doing for Lent. I pondered this on the drive home. What activity could I give up for six and a half weeks? I didn’t know.

I gave it some thought, but on Wednesday, I still didn’t have a plan. This frustrated me, because I felt that Lent was significant; I just didn’t know how to observe it in a meaningful way. I called my mom that afternoon and talked about it with her.

She suggested, “How about this: Every day, look in the mirror and say to yourself, ‘I am deeply loved by Jesus.’”

It didn’t seem very much like a Lenten practice … but I decided to take her advice, and I spent Lent focusing on God’s love. It was an incredible experience, because I learned that, after all, Lent is all about God’s love.

It is good to remember Jesus’ suffering; his sacrifice was no small thing. But it is so, so important to remember the context. God gave his Son because he loved the world so much. Jesus endured the cross willingly, because of the joy set before him. God didn’t suffer for us so that he could hold it over our heads and make us feel guilty. He did it to wash us clean of all guilt. That is the kind of God he is. He loves us.

I think there is value in fasting and in giving things up. But it needs to be in the context of God’s love and grace. That’s what our faith is about.

Some other blog posts that grew out of my experiences during Lent last year:

A Beginning

Recommended Reading: The Relentless Tenderness of Jesus


Life vs. Fairy Tale: A Short Rant on My Least Favorite Expression

February 5, 2010

“Real life is no fairy tale.”

What people inevitably mean by this statement is, “Life is tough. Things won’t always go your way. It’s not all rainbows and cupcakes.”

I wonder, have these people ever listened to a fairy tale?  The fairy tales I know don’t have much to do with rainbows or cupcakes. More often they deal with murderous stepmothers and deadly curses. The world of fairy tales is a world where your answer to a single riddle might mean life or death. It is a world where you will need all your wisdom, courage, and compassion to complete your task and to remain human. It is a world where the stakes are high: great good and great destruction are both possible. It is very much like the real world.

Frederick Buechner wrote, “Here is the world. Beautiful and terrible things will happen. Don’t be afraid.”

Life, like a fairy tale, is full of beautiful and terrible things. Keep your eyes open; keep your heart open. Don’t be afraid.

And please, please, don’t ever use the expression, “Real life is no fairy tale.”

"Snow White" Illustration by Trina Schart Hyman

Image from Snow White, retold by Paul Heins, illustrated by Trina Schart Hyman


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